Things used to be really good and then they became, well, not that great and you just can’t put your finger on why. Nobody’s cheating, there’s no abuse of any sort and you generally can’t complain — but you also can’t really talk to your guy about it. WTF? If you notice any of these signs, your relationship has serious communication issues that just might bring things to a grinding halt:
1. YOUR CONVERSATIONS NEVER GO DEEPER THAN SURFACE LEVEL.
Remember the days (and nights) when you could stay on the phone with this person for hours on end, never running out of things to talk about and always theorizing about anything and everything under the sun? Those days are gone and in their place exists some of the most superficial, inane conversation possible. It’s like the polite chat with the cashier at the grocery store when you’re buying tampons—light and full of superficial levity but with an underlying level of discomfort.
2. YOU DON’T ASK ABOUT EACH OTHER’S DAY.
“How was your day today?” is one of the simplest questions you can ask your partner but also one of the most important. It shows that you actually care about the ins and outs of what they get up to when they’re not with you and also serves to give you something to talk about. If neither of you think to ask this basic question, there’s a serious issue.
3. BOTH OF YOU TALK MORE THAN YOU LISTEN.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing to want to be heard, especially if you feel like all your partner does is talk, talk, talk. But maybe your partner feels the same way about you and that’s why the two of you just can’t seem to make any headway. You’re both engaged in a constant, ongoing push-and-pull battle—and how does anyone accomplish anything when they’re too busy pushing their own agenda?