4. THEY KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT THINGS, ESPECIALLY THE UGLY STUFF.Communication is the second most important thing, according to the study. Having those difficult conversations about each other and the relationship is what helps the relationship keep going. If you can’t talk to the other person about this, then the problems will never be solved. On the other hand, openly discussing topics that are difficult for you to discuss is what helps build and maintain intimacy.
5. THEY’RE HEALTHY INDIVIDUALS OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP.
So it turns out all those harsh self-help books were right! Couples in successful relationships apparently know how to make themselves happy and don’t rely on their partner to make up for their shortcomings in that department. If you rely on another person for your happiness to the point where you lose your own identity, interests, and perspective, turns out the relationship is less likely to last. On the other hand, if you are an individual who’s independent and self-aware, you’ve probably got it made.
6. THEY KNOW HOW TO GIVE SPACE AND TAKE SOME FOR THEMSELVES.
Individuals need space. You can’t maintain your own individuality of your relationship is entirely symbiotic. Give your partner space to be his or her own person and claim your own space for the same reasons. Couples who respect each other’s me time seem to be the ones that last.
7. THEY’RE CONSTANTLY GROWING AND EVOLVING AS PEOPLE AND AS A COUPLE.
Part of being an individual is also changing throughout life. Responders to the study reported going through everything from a change of religion to moving countries, losing children and other major life changes. What they had in common was that their love for each other was such that it allowed each person to change and grow, even in unexpected ways. Their relationships changed to encompass these changes because their love was not dependent on external circumstances.
8. THEY FIGHT, BUT THEY KNOW HOW TO DO IT.
Keeping things respectful, not dragging past arguments into the current one, learning to compromise, learning to let things go and not insist on always solving everything – these are the qualities that sustain long, solid relationships. Some couples cited needing to understand each other, rather than compromise, to help turn fights into conversations.