9 Ways to Ensure Your Relationship Is Built to Last

Posted on

1. Be Present

The best way to connect with those you love is by being present — over and over and over again — says wellness counselor Anne Parker. “Being present means fully engaging in what is being shared between you in that moment, truly paying attention to the thoughts, feelings and actions you’re experiencing together.” Keep the television off as the two of you share dinner. Switch off your tablet or smartphone in the evening so you can spend time fully participating with your partner — listening, sharing and experiencing the time you’re spending together. Parker adds that while this may sound obvious and straightforward, think about how often we let ourselves get distracted from truly paying attention. “Without engaged presence,” she says, “relationships quickly wither.”

2. Acknowledge the Positive

While we might have fallen in love with our partners because of their positive traits and qualities, everyday stresses and anxieties can make it far too easy for us to focus only on the negative. “Make sure you acknowledge what’s working,” says wellness counselor Anne Parker, “and give credit for the things that go well even in the midst of conflict.” Try to see that for every one negative feeling or interaction between the two of you, there are five positive ones. This five-to-one ratio, according to relationship researcher and author John Gottman, is typical of stable and happy couples. So instead of focusing on how you wish your partner were different, Parker says, “stay in touch with what you love about that person.”

PrevPage 1 of 8Next

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *