When I started dating again after a long relationship, I thought being older and wiser would work in my favor. However, I found it really hard to keep a guy interested in me once he learned I have a steady job, I’m self-sufficient and not super needy. I was curious if this was in my head so I tried a different approach for a bit. Sure enough, as soon as I started acting a little helpless, dudes flocked to me.
1. I GUESS I SEEMED MORE APPROACHABLE.
I had no idea that my self-confidence informed how I carried myself in a public setting. If I was out with friends and I giggled and flirted, I found more men came up to talk to me than when I just kept to my circle and did my own thing. Overall, I think there needs to be a balance. I don’t want to come off too intimidating but I also don’t want to act like a child to get guys to talk to me.
2. THEY KEPT TELLING ME THEY LIKED BEING NEEDED.
I’m typically the one delivering that line. I like being needed—I’m a natural caregiver, so it’s hard for me to imagine being on the other side. It seemed like if I wanted a guy to stick around and not be scared off by my independence, I had to feed into the BS idea that I needed their help with things I was perfectly capable of handling myself.