It’s an almost cliché piece of advice, that the right one will come along when you stop searching and least expect it. But why has this piece of wisdom stood the test of time? There are a few reasons it holds true.
1. THEY SEE YOU FALLING INTO PATTERNS WITH THE SAME WRONG TYPE OF GUY.
If you’ve heard the “love when you stop looking” advice, it likely came from a close friend or family member as you jokingly vented about being forever alone. The people who know you best tend to see your patterns of behavior more accurately than you can—and they can see you falling for the wrong type of guy, sometimes over and over again. If your relationships are consistently imploding, something isn’t working. You can’t control the douchebags that sneak their way into your life, but you can control how you approach relationships. When your friends advise you to stop looking, it’s because they see something holding you back.
2. ACTIVELY SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING IS A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD.
If you’re looking for a serious relationship, it’s important to know what you want, at least to an extent. Having an extensive list of non-negotiable needs can cause you to ignore many options that may be an unexpected (yet great) fit for you. Meeting new people with the intention of finding a long-term partner can also cause you to move too quickly, overlook red flags, and make the same relationship mistakes that you’ve made before.