It’s Annoying When People Say You’ll Find Love When You Stop Looking, But Here’s Why It’s True

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3. THE PLACES YOU’RE LOOKING ARE ALL WRONG.

Quick—think of the first place you’d go to meet a guy. A bar? A dating app? The places we immediately resort to when looking for love are riddled with wild cards. Not only that, but they’ve become a breeding ground for bad options. Where do short-sighted guys go when they’re looking for a hookup? You got it, dating apps and bars. Getting more involved in things you actually enjoy as an individual is one of the most effective and natural ways to meet people that you mesh well with.

4. YOU’RE SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING YOU WON’T GET.

You’ve got your life under control; you’ve got a great job, amazing friendships, and you’re genuinely happy. All you need to complete the picture is someone to share it with, right? Wrong. It’s easy to look for love for the wrong reasons, like the desire to feel complete. In order to develop a strong relationship with someone, you must first feel secure in who you are. Feeling like you need a partner to round out your life isn’t healthy. You’ll be more successful with love if you start your search because you want a partner to complement your already-sufficient life.

5. IT’S HOW LOVE HAPPENS IN ALL THE ROM-COMS.

It’s easy to get swept up in the great loves that are portrayed in romantic movies, and we all know that dramatized relationships aren’t accurate in real life. The “unsuspecting girl meets unpredictable guy when she least expects it” storylines are a dime a dozen, but the problem isn’t with how or when these movie characters meet. The girl is often portrayed as lost, unlucky-in-love, and the movies usually end with her finding her true identity through this beautiful cinematic love story. While your real-life, true love won’t be the savior you see in the movies, meeting the one when you’re not seeking him out is a way to get your happy ending.

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